Heather, I have totally missed your blog challenges. Thank you for giving me something to write about (and think about) other than everything else that’s been going on!

” Go into your profile on Facebook. Click on your profile, and then click on your pictures. Look through your last ten pictures (the top two rows) of the pictures you’ve been tagged in (as in, not an album – just the last ten random pictures). What story do they tell of you and your life? And then – is this the story you want to tell? The one you imagined yourself telling at this point in your life? What’s missing from that story that you think is integral to your real story?“

There were a few similar pictures from a couple of events, so I took the top 3 rows for some variety.

Honestly, I was a bit surprised. I was expecting a disappointing story. For me to not be happy with what I saw. But – you know what? These pictures made me smile. Every single one. They span everything important to me, happy memories, and left me just feeling grateful and blessed. This is very much the story I want to tell. Of a girl with dear friends who she’s been honored to be able to support on their special days, who’s achieved things in her career, who has realized the value of family, who goes out on a limb (every so often) to try “crazy” things she never thought she’d do. A girl who likes to have fun, and tries not to take herself too terribly seriously. A girl who loves, and who is loved.

And frankly – I don’t really think there is much more that I’d want to see or expect from myself than that. A lot of it is exactly where I hoped I’d be. I’d like to have a family of my own – I imagined myself there, but at the same time, it doesn’t feel like me or what I want right this second. For a variety of reasons.

I’m not perfect – I’m on a journey and learning and working hard to make changes to improve myself.

I’m hoping to save my marriage.

But these pictures show that a good part of me is pretty darn OK.

All clickable for bigger versions.

I kind of doubt that I’m unique as the adult child of divorced parents who isn’t totally comfortable with this “holiday”concept. Maybe the slightly rarer detail is that my parents have been divorced since I’ve been an adult, but frankly, in this case, I actually think that makes this aspect worse. I get all of the awkwardness of new family units, all of the jealousy of parents forced to split time with their children, and none of the joys stemming from the creation of memories with some “new” family unit founded (disturbingly) at some point during my childhood. Translation: I’m lucky if only one parent is jealous of the time the other has been allotted for any given holiday, I always feel like a stranger in either parent’s home, and all the while, there are kooky reminders of what “used to be.”

This holiday – and actually, frankly, quite a few holidays – one parent gets worked up in some passive-aggressive manner about the time spent with the other parent, while the second parent really doesn’t “get” any of it. Maybe this was a symptom of the failure of their marriage to begin with, but I digress. I sit at my father’s house, the passing of hours punctuated by the same grandfather clock that punctuated the hours of my youth. Days are filled with the same car-care, home improvement activities of my youth. The same evening rounds of James Bond, the same beer brewing sessions. But the home in which all of this occurs? Bears no resemblance to my own. There is no comfort here. It’s like a hotel where they moved in all of the activities and occasional samples of some far-distant, fake home.

Continental breakfast is served at 7am.

The other home? Another hotel. This hotel feels more like home in some aspects. The meals I’m fed warm my stomach and soul in the same way as the holiday meals of my childhood, but there’s something not quite right. There are just enough things in this home that make it not quite home. Things that are not ours. Mine. Uneasy.

And every year, I fight this split. Manage and minimize feelings. Part of me cries on the inside because none of this….none of this….is a family holiday anymore. “Home is where the heart is” is a truer than true cliche, but for either parent to think they, alone, harbor that home, is simply naive. Holidays now are fractured, horrific, and sad – while everyone wanders around acting like it’s “OK.” And likely, for my parents in their new lives, new homes, with new spouses, it IS ok – and they want me to share in that. I don’t begrudge them that. But it’s not a drag and drop. These homes, these people – they are not my family. They are intruders. Necessary intruders to be managed. At least one of them doesn’t get that – while I’m happy for them – it’s never the same. It’s all obligation. Management. Someone is always unhappy. And – it’s usually not me. Because at this point, I’m mostly numb to it.

Family holidays that aren’t family and are only holidays because the calendar dictates.

More and more it makes me want to leave it all, have my own family and my own traditions. Or, insert myself into J’s family where the traditions are comprehensive, in one tight little bundle rather than spread over two households and two states.

Can you blame me?

I’m 32 and I’m the adult child of divorced parents.

Landing in Boston – ahhh….good to be home…

One of my cousins got married over the holiday weekend, so we added on some extra time for a little relaxation for ourselves and stayed at a sweet, little B&B with a vineyard. OK, aside from the B&B, there is no such thing as a relaxing vacation where family is involved – at least not my family. “The Family,” as we were described – like The Mafia-  at the reception. Frankly, it’s fitting. Running here, running there, eating, drinking, drama. And since we were in CT, there were a few people I wanted to see….and J was along for the ride, patient as he was.

I wish we could have spent some actual time in Boston.

We just about need a vacation from our vacation.

Maybe next year.

Shoes? Testing…

The beautiful bride and her cutie husband. Welcome to The Family, Will. Fortunately, you know what you’re getting yourself into.

The vineyard at the Fitch Claremont House , as taken when we checked in. Terribly cute B&B, fantastic breakfast, yummy wine, wonderful owners.

Dinner with my boy on the water in Mystic at the S&P Oyster Company. None of The Family attended. Ah. Quiet. (And if you’re ever in the neighborhood, I recommend this place highly)

Really – can’t I just stay here?

I know I’m behind a few days now, picture-wise, but it’s been a crazy week and we’re off on another little adventure this weekend…more on that soon...

Last one of the group to post this, LOL!

1. Any vacations planned this summer, if so when/where?

A long weekend in NC with our friends S & W and no-longer-baby O.
A weekend in Williamsburg for J’s birthday.
A long weekend in NJ visiting friends.
Hoping to squeeze in a trip to Chicago.
My cousin’s wedding in CT over Labor Day.

Not summer…but possibly Spain in October…hmmm….

Glad to not be traveling as much this year!

2. Any home improvement/landscaping projects planned for this summer, if so what?

We have SO many things we’d like to do, and the list keeps growing. Landscaping is done, but now we’re eyeing windows, and new counters has all of  a sudden become gutting the kitchen, and doing our master bath, replacing the two remaining old toilets, putting in an attic fan. Replacing shutters. Painting the living room and hallway, probably our bedroom.
I don’t think our pocketbook is big enough, so I’m sure something will give.

3. Did you purchase flowers to plant yet? Or is that not your thing?

I don’t have any flowers, really, but we did plant the container garden and a couple of weeks back, J ripped out a ton of ivy and we put in some new shrubs.

4. Do you plan on hitting the beach this summer?

Probably not. I’ve never been a big beach person in the summer.

5. Have you got any new summer wardrobe items? If so what?

A bunch of capris. I don’t do shorts (rarely, anyway).

6. Flip flops or wedges?

Flip flops. A large quantity of Old Navy flip flops. Of which, I’ll probably mostly wear my white ones or my black Reef ones.

7. Do you tan or burn?

I tan – except my legs. They don’t tan at all. But, I’m pretty constantly wearing sunscreen, so while I do end up getting a little color through it anyway, I hope to avoid burning for sure! I know too many people who have had skin cancers.

8. Any good summer reads you care to share?

Not really reading anything – I’m a magazine girl in the summer. Usually junk like People.

9. Favorite summer beverage (alcohoic or non)

Non-alcoholic – Iced tea
Alcoholic – Mojitos or Corona with lime

10. Do you enjoy any summer sports or activities, if so what?

It’s nice to just be able to be outside – I walk outside a lot.

11. Any goals you’re working towards this summer?

Taking off those winter few pounds, continuing to improve my marriage, keeping on track to our finances being in better shape. Being nicer to my moody stomach.

12. Favorite summertime food?

Anything grilled.

13. Favorite summertime fruit?

I’m allergic to a lot of fruits, but I do love watermelon, peaches on the grill, and cherries (which make me break out in hives, but I eat them anyway).

14. Favorite summertime song/music?

To be determined.  Every summer ends up having “a song” or “an album” – but we’ll see what it ends up being after summer’s over!

15. Plans for any summer lovin’ ?

Um, I should hope so!

Hopefully it grows. Period. Alive, not dead. Perhaps bearing veggies? The event dubbed “Garden Party ’09″ is on – will they grow? Will we manage to kill them? Stay tuned!

The back two large pots have one tomato, one pepper, and one squash each. A tomato, pepper, and fingerling eggplant await planting on a tray in front. The tomato is a unique breed created to grow in smaller containers on “balconies” and the squash is pattypan. Because of this, I’m optimistic about our pot-sharing scheme, but really – we’ll see.
The oregano we “inherited” from my IL’s is going for it in the terracotta pot, and on the other side of it in the same pot is basil and mint. The sun hits that side, so we’ll see who “wins.” The long box is parsley, cilantro, dill, and some happy rosemary. Still to come: a box of spring, then summer, lettuce blends.

Those two “random” logs? Actually, they’ve been inoculated with mushrooms. One is Shitake, the other is….? No idea. Those were J’s creative entries.

Place your bets!

Dad and his wife have been here this weekend – the closest we get to Easter around here is breaking out a Paas kit and feasting on Peeps and Creme Eggs. So, while everyone else spent Sunday at church and at family gatherings, we spent it at the newly-reopened Museum of American History. Two of the exhibits we really wanted to see had lengthy lines, but we were able to see the Star-Spangled Banner and this:

Any ideas?

It’s Julia Child’s kitchen.

I was amazed by how homey and real it is, and at the amazing array of gadgets – the mix of single-use gadgets and the best of the best multitaskers. Her knife collection. The pots and pans on peg boards on the walls. The solid, central kitchen table that could serve as a dinner place, a gathering place, and an extra workspace.

Nothin’ fancy, but heaven conceptually for the home cook.

The exhibit included TV’s playing her old PBS shows – as a New England girl, shows from WGBH-Boston were regular Saturday fodder. This Old House. New Yankee Workshop. Jacques Pepin. Yan Can Cook. And of course, Julia Child – who, by the time I was on the scene, had long ago settled in Cambridge and was filming her show, finished each episode buy sitting down to dinner with a glass of wine. It was actually a mix of water and Gravy Master, I learned today – she didn’t want to be drunk and filming, but did enjoy good wine with her meals – a lesson learned from her time in France at the Cordon Bleu. Forty plus years ago, she was making a point of cooking in season, with locally grown produce. Sound like a familiar “trend?”

“Food should have sense of time and place,” one of her friends said in a video. I wholeheartedly agree.

We came home, newly inspired. We tried a little recipe reverse-engineering for dinner tonight. I think we have a winner – a fun, easy meal. With a sense of time and place – at least, a reminder of it for us…

I was just reading Irishgirlieknits’ New Year’s resolutions post, and among the “to dos” were eating more healthy, cooking in more, and just plain cooking more. It got me thinking….if there is one thing I love, it’s eating good food. And I’ve been lucky enough to marry a guy who loves to cook. (I’m a good helper.) While he is roughly the size of my pinky, I am always trying to balance keeping (or getting) slim with continuing to eat well but healthy. We’ve spent the last few months focusing on eating in more and eating out less, and while we’ve fell into a routine of “go to” meals that we love, we’re looking forward to trying new things this year. We aim for one new recipe a week, and often, I end up editing it a bit to reduce fat and calories. Admittedly, it’s an experiment – some work, some fail, and I am really picky about what I call a success!

So, Feasting Friday will celebrate those successes – I’ll reference the original recipe, and share with you the A & J Version. Sometimes, when I find one that’s good as is, I’ll just post a link with comments.

If you try one – please let me know your thoughts and what YOU do to make it your own!

This week – or, rather, from last week – we had a fantastic version of Coq au Vin at my Dad’s. He loves to do the same healthy editing that we do, so this is his version. We’re currently plotting (read: saving) for a Le Creuset dutch oven, so of course every recipe we see seems to be dutch oven-ready. This was no exception – but it can also be done in a crockpot with a little tinkering, or in an oven-safe stockpot. In fact, we used a Calphalon stockpot for this pass of it since that was on hand.

Usually, Coq au Vin recipes take 4, 6, or even 8 hours. Simply, we picked this recipe because it only took 2 (plus prep). This is a weekend recipe for sure, but the leftovers will carry you into the weeknights!

The original recipe can be found at Cooking.com – here. And our version:

Amanda’s Dad’s Coq au Vin

Ingredients:
For Chicken
2 T olive oil (set aside, and keep a teaspoon handy)
2-3 lbs of packaged boneless, skinless chicken breast
1/2 c whole wheat flour, lightly seasoned with salt and pepper

For the Sauce
1/3 c brandy
3 c red wine (you didn’t really think I’d skimp on the alcohol, did you?)
2 c reduced fat/low sodium chicken broth or stock (canned is perfect)
1/4 c balsamic vinegar (never underestimate the value of good balsamic vinegar)
1 T dijon mustard (coarse ground is great, but regular will do)
1 bag of frozen pearl onions, thawed (you can buy fresh and peel if you really want to – I’ve done
it, it sucks)
1 (16 oz or whatever is closest) can of chopped tomatoes with juice
5 garlic cloves, thinly sliced. (yes, more!)
1 lb baby carrots (just a bag of ‘em) OR 1 lb regular carrots, scraped & sliced
3 ribs of celery, sliced however the heck you want
3 cups sliced button mushrooms (J will slice himself, I buy pre-sliced)
2 T fresh chopped rosemary (seriously, fresh matters here – dried just isn’t the same)
1/4 c fresh chopped parsley (ditto)
s & p

Now – just follow the directions as above in the original recipe. To cook the chicken, I dredge it in flour, shake it off, and brown it in as little oil as possible – hence the teaspooon, and add it a teaspoon at a time. We used up 2T – but it’s important to get those browned goodies, so I don’t advise much less. And after the prep time? Yes, I KNOW it’s over 2 hours, but well, just do whatever you do around the house (knit?) and stir occasionally, we’re not talking risotto here! That’s why this is a weekend recipe!

The original recipe says 664 calories a serving – but we’ve got less oil, no dark chicken parts, reduced fat/sodium broth, and no skin. Sad, I know, but trust me, it’s OK. The chicken breast just falls apart and is not dry at all, and the rest of the ingredients are fresh – vegetables, herbs…good for you! I don’t even like carrots, but trust me, they are awesome this way. I didn’t actually sit down and calculate, but I’d think we’re somewhere in the ballpark of 400 – 450 calories for this one. Not bad at all – not even “special occasion” calorie level!

And it’s YUM the second day, so break out your Tupperware! Leftovers for the week!

Just a comment on the alcohol – some of the wine and brandy flavor does come through, so I don’t recommend omitting it completely, but you can always play with more broth, less wine if you want. In addition to the flavor, there is the liquid volume consideration to bear in mind. Omitting wine does omit more calories, but I try to keep my meals in the 350 – 450 calorie range, and I’m pretty confident we’re in that already. French bread to sop up the sauce is a nice addition, but more calories….I’m all about the protein and veggies when I can, and less refined sugars/carbs, so I don’t typically use it. Skinny Hubs loves to, though. Lucky schmo.

Wishing you fantastic feasting! Cheers!

Somewhere around July, inevitably, there will be an oddball nice day or two. J will stand outside, coffee in one hand, cigarette in the other, sniff the air, and say: “Fall is coming.” Usually by September, he’s lapsed into “Winter is coming.”

Tags: family, seasons
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