Archive for the ‘relationships’ Category
Mushy Quiz for Public Consumption
Monday, June 28th, 2010In honor of Nancy & Steph’s anniversary, I’m taking the schmoopy quiz, too!
? What are your middle names?
*** Mine is Marie, his is Dwight.
? How long have you been together?
***Like Nancy, in August we’ll have been together for 9 years. Although, we did date briefly 5 years before that.
? How long did you know each other before you started dating?
*** Well, the first time, we’d only known each other for a month or so. By round two, we were at 5.5 years.
? Who asked whom out?
*** We didn’t really date, we just “hung out.” On a technicality, I suppose it’s me – I told him it was ok for him to stay at my place so we could go to a show in Chicago, and I’m the one who turned around and kissed him.
? How old are each of you?
*** I’m 33, he turns 35 in July.
? Do you have any children together?
*** Nope.
? What about pets?
*** We have Albert and Stewie (the dogs) and Lucy, Sydney, and Max (the cats). Plus a Betta of Eternal Life. He just keeps going and going and going.
? Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
***We’ve had a few – my not working the first year we were married, living apart for a year, and now, not loving where we live but trying to accept that it is what it is.
***We’ve had a few – my not working the first year we were married, living apart for a year, and now, not loving where we live but trying to accept that it is what it is.
? Did you go to the same school?
*** College, yes.
? Are you from the same hometown?
*** No, not even the same state or part of the country!
? Who is the smartest?
*** I think J is. I have my own strengths. I think that at a certain point, though, intelligence becomes less about ability/capability and more about how hard you’re willing to work for something.
? Who is more sensitive?
*** Me. Totally.
? Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
*** Our 5th anniversary cruise around the southern Mediterranean – Spain, Malta, Italy, France.
? Who has the craziest exes?
*** He does. I only have one. Neither of us are in touch with those people anymore.
? Who has the worst temper?
*** Me. Hands down.
? Who does the cooking?
*** He does. I try and most of the cleanup and cleaning the house. We do like to cook together, too.
? Who is more social?
*** Me, for sure!
? Who is the neat-freak?
*** Me. Definitely.
? Who is more stubborn?
*** Um. Probably also me.
? Who hogs the bed?
*** We have a king sized bed, so there isn’t really any hogging. He does steal sheets and blankets, and there is usually at least one cat who actually does the bed-hogging.
? Who wakes up earlier?
***During the week, we get up at the same time. On weekends/days off, it’s definitely me.
? Where was your first date?
*** First time – Denny’s for coffee and smoking and playing in the Walmart toy section. (Hey! Poor college kids!) Second time – if you could call it a date – out for Indian food with friends at then to a show at The Empty Bottle in Chicago.
? How do you spend the holidays?
*** We alternate, as best we can. We have a lot of places to be, and of course, none of them are close together. My family is in GA and SC (extended family in CT), his is in NC and TN.
? Who is more jealous?
*** Eep. ::raises hand:: <—–Stealing everyone’s answer…
? How long did it take to get serious?
*** By the time we started dating 9 years ago, we’d been friends for a long time. By even choosing to enter a relationship, it was serious – because if it didn’t work out, we would probably have lost the friendship, too. We needed to be sure pretty much from day one that we were serious about where things were going.
? Who eats more?
*** Me. *sigh*
? Who does/did the laundry?
*** We both do.
? Who’s better with the computer?
*** Depends on what you’re doing on the computer. J’s slightly better at debugging issues than I am, but not by much!
? Who drives when you are together?
*** J does.
? Who is the romantic one?
*** I think we both have our own ideas of what “romantic” is. They don’t seem to match, generally, though, LOL. In the general sense, I’d say I am, but we’re both pretty practical people.
Wish
Thursday, April 1st, 2010Watching Grey’s Anatomy tonight with J and I said I identify with Torres and Arizona. “It’s my life.” He got angry and said I always bring that up. (I don’t – I haven’t in awhile. Frankly, I go back and forth.)
One of the characters was shot and lost her uterus in the cleanup.
I found myself wishing the decision was made by something out of my control. Kept this thought to myself. I was already sorry I’d brought anything up, because it clearly irritated him.
It is out of my control. And it’s a painful place to be to feel forced to sometimes wish that decision came from somewhere physically permanent and not just your husband. It would hurt less. There would be less “what if,” maybe.
He left me to watch the last 15 minutes of the episode alone.
Most of the time, I’m OK with this. Most of the time it’s not what I want anymore, and the ache is gone.
Most of the time.
Repost: Thoughtful Thursday – 29 January
Thursday, January 29th, 2009So, J’s at a meeting, working late tonight. I offered to cook up a nice dinner if he’d get the chicken marinating last night. Normally on Thursdays we do something quick. And – I’m looking forward to a nice dinner, made by ME.
I have no idea how the thought process started, but I realized I am so much more motivated to do things when I’m home alone. Something. Anything. In fact, I relish it.
When J’s there, I just feel like a sloth. And I feel guilty about it, too, of course. Part of it is because he lets me not do anything. He takes too good care of me.
Is that possible?
“Honey, stop cooking me dinner or washing the dishes, because if you do it, I’ll let you.”
When I lived alone, I did all kinds of things. Cleaned. Cooked. Hung pictures and blinds. Painted. Assembled furniture. Moved large objects. Changed my oil in my car. Washed its wheels with a toothbrush. Sloth I was NOT.
But, now that I have someone who takes care of me, I don’t do any of those things very often. When J’s not around, I just fall into doing those things again, like I never stopped.
When did I get to be so spoiled and lazy? I’m feeling like a bad partner. It’s unhealthy for our relationship to let this perpetuate, even if he’s OK with it. I’m not OK with it.
